Davibo.com

 

 

 

If my dick ruled the world... I wrote most of these a long time ago. It was out of boredom, I assure you.

 

 

If my dick ruled the world, there would always be a light breeze on my nuts.

If my dick ruled the world, all men who doubted the knowledge and power of my dick would be banished to France.

If my dick ruled the world, high heels would be required for all women conducting any kind of business.

If my dick ruled the world, the Royal Majestic Castle of My Dick would be located on a tropical island.

If my dick ruled the world, sex education would be taught by porn stars. Ron Jeremy is a former high school teacher.

If my dick ruled the world, the earth would be renamed Girth.

If my dick ruled the world, banana eating would be an Olympic event.

If my dick ruled the world, a giant version of my dick would be built and the Statue of Liberty would be royally fucked.

If my dick ruled the world, hippies would be banished to the Great White North. Why you ask? More trees for them to hug.

If my dick ruled the world, all bad people would be referred to as "sumbitches".

If my dick ruled the world, volcanos would be renamed vaginos.

If my dick ruled the world, my nuts would be second in charge.

If my dick ruled the world, all women would have to take yoga for maximum flexibility.

If my dick ruled the world, the Salt and Vinegar potato chip flavor would be renamed: Freshly Douched.

If my dick ruled the world, my dick would be added to Mount Rushmore.

If my dick ruled the world, the Pacific Ocean would be renamed the Ocean of My Nuts. (NOTE: my nuts like water)

If my dick ruled the world, Canada would be renamed The Land of the Hosers.

If my dick ruled the world, the word condom would be replaced with the words Anti-Cootie Roll.

If my dick ruled the world, the poontang would taste more like regular tang.

If my dick ruled the world, blowjobs would be renamed. The new name, DickHappying. (Examples: Hey Jane, come dickhappy me. OR You give great dickhappy.)

If my dick ruled the world, Antarctica would be settled by hot Norwegian women and used as a frozen paradise.

If my dick ruled the world, I'd stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

If my dick ruled the world, my balls would vacation in the Isle of Poontang.

If my dick ruled the world, there would be a cartoon dedicated to my dick. The name? The Adventures of My Dick and Nutsac. Every episode would be about my dick trying to get with a vagina... Much like Star Trek was for Captain Kirk.

If my dick ruled the world, "Fluffer" would be a proud title that many women would aspire to.

If my dick ruled the world, skyscrapers would be called cloud rapers.